


Ethereal

by esmaier



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic, Established, M/M, Post-Graduation, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmaier/pseuds/esmaier
Summary: 1. delicate in a way that seems too perfect for this world





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sequential, more or less, I guess. I’m not very good at dealing with detailed chronology.

Kaoru would have laughed, laughed until he cried, if someone had told him in his first year at Yumenosaki Academy that after he graduated, he would be not only living with, but also be in (overall) a (mostly) happy (established!?) relationship with Sakuma Rei.

He’s not exactly sure when it happened, if asked.

It wasn’t immediate. There was never anything immediate about them, not then and not now, but it was fine. It was simply how they were, taking time piece by piece in their own ways, yet never able to escape from the other’s reality.

 ———

They’ve just graduated, and Kaoru stares blankly up at the empty walls surrounding him, hardly believing that he’s finally free from his father’s grasp, free to pursue life as he wishes.

His wonder is momentarily shattered as he hears a fantastic _thunk_ of a suitcase hitting the ground behind him, and he turns, a grin flitting across his face as he takes in none other than Sakuma Rei leaning heavily over the pull handle of the luggage, glaring half-heartedly through his bangs up at Kaoru. “Assistance with, you know, actually moving things into the apartment rather than loitering in the hallway would be fantastic, Kaoru-kun.”

 Kaoru can’t help but actually laugh now, reaching down to start dragging boxes in, “Got it, got it, Sakuma-san...be a little more lively, would you? We both managed to graduate, we’ve got great work contracts, and a sparkly new apartment— much better than the Light Music Club room, no?”

“The clubrooms at school were perfectly serviceable,” is the sigh of a reply as Rei begins hauling things inside, “and there’s so much...sunlight.”

“Which is good for you,” Kaoru retorts easily.

“I’m a _vampire_ , Kaoru-kun, you should know this by now.”

“Hence why your coffin is already here.”

Rei seems to perk up with that knowledge, dropping the suitcase where it is, just inside the doorway, and collapsing onto the floor with a dramatic sigh of relief. Kaoru can’t bring himself to be irritated with Rei’s antics and leans over Rei’s limp figure on the ground, smiling as he peers down into Rei’s eyes, “Welcome home, Sakuma-san.”

———

For the first few months, they rarely see each other, busy with an onslaught of solo jobs, from radio shows to television appearance. They’re young, attractive men who have just graduated as top idols from an elite academy, and they don’t lack work opportunities. 

Kaoru settles easily into modelling, which he thinks surprises him more than it does Rei. He also still manages to find time for a constant stream of dates despite his packed schedule, which shocks everybody except Kaoru himself, though if asked, his acquaintances would admit they should have expected nothing less, nothing more, from him.

But if they were to ask Kaoru (and really, he thinks they should), he only continues to ‘date’ girls to maintain a pretense, a shred of normality from his high school days. In the end though, Kaoru knows he can’t admit such a thing, that the rapid changes in his life terrify him. He knows he's incapable of showing such a weakness to anybody, but he thinks it’s alright, because when it comes down to it, he doesn’t think he’d trade his life for anything.

 

* * *

 

They visit Yumenosaki Academy, occasionally.

It feels weird, Kaoru thinks, to be walking through halls so unfamiliar yet unchanged, while everything else in his life has shifted.

Almost everything, he amends to himself when Koga storms up to them the moment they’ve thrown open the door to UNDEAD’s old practice room, yelling at Rei about disturbing practice, as usual, barks out a harsh greeting to Kaoru, as usual. Adonis watches on silently, only bowing his head in greeting, as usual. When things finally settle, though, there’s hints of smiles ghosting across all of their faces.

They waste away the afternoon exchanging stories, talking about music, about school, about Rei and Kaoru’s work life outside of school, but none of them touch on the topic of the now-third-years’ soon-impending graduation. It’s pointless, it really is, Kaoru thinks. They have to talk about their future as a once again four man unit at some point, but even he can’t help but keep silent on the topic, as if there’s a taboo on it.

Even if they haven’t properly discussed the matter yet, all of them can see so startlingly clearly how each and every one of them works hard to make that distant dream a reality.

Rei has surprisingly good connections, so Kaoru and Rei spend most of their already pitiful time together conducting business, visiting bars, hotels, and shows alike to upkeep their image, their reputation, to prepare an entryway gilded with success for their underclassmen, to bring UNDEAD back to life.

 

* * *

 

At some point, Kaoru accepts that he’s completely, absolutely, entirely in love with Sakuma Rei.

He confesses.

Rei accepts, admits reciprocation.

The whole ordeal goes over far smoother than Kaoru would have ever imagined possible, and he’s again met with the conflict of nothing changing, yet nothing remaining the same.

Their overall dynamic doesn’t change. Kaoru doesn’t think that’s possible anymore. Kaoru still flirts with girls, no matter how empty the meaning behind his words is. Rei is still...a vampire. Still spends every sunny day miserably huddled under the duvet cover of their bed.

Their bed. Little things like this, little details that have slowly become a part of their natural, unchanging overall dynamic. He’s never really sure when things become integrated into ‘unchanging’ and ‘constant’, just that they do. Waking up to Rei’s legs tangled in his becomes normal. Little kisses pressed to cheeks, to the corner of mouths, interspersed throughout their time at home becomes normal.

Sometimes, the change of certain things from ‘new’ and ‘different’ to ‘normal’ becomes stilted.

This, Kaoru admits, is mostly his fault. It scares him. His own lack of confidence makes him so overwhelmingly nervous, sometimes Kaoru thinks he might drown in his own feelings. He’s used to girls, knows how to handle them, understands them on a fundamental level. To them, he can present himself exactly how he wants to be seen. But Rei is a whole new realm to him, an unknown in this regard, and it terrifies Kaoru.

But Rei makes Kaoru feel loved, past his appearance, past his family’s affluence, past his talent. Even if Kaoru doesn’t feel in charge, feels like he’s floundering out of his element, Rei’s easy way of making that transition to normality reassures him. He acts like there’s nothing different about the way he slips his hand into Kaoru’s back pocket when they’re standing in the elevator in their apartment complex, or the way he tilts his head back to kiss Kaoru languidly when Kaoru returns home later than Rei, leaning over the elder where he sits at the piano.

“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” Kaoru mentions offhandedly one day, as they sit cuddled against each other on the couch.

Rei gives a questioning hum, his eyes trained on the TV where the movie of the night flashes across the screen.

Kaoru glances down to where Rei’s head is nestled against his shoulder, just to make sure the vampire isn’t dozing off before turning his own gaze back to the TV, feeling that awful, terrible, self-deprecating smile cross his face. “Isn’t it ironic that I, the easygoing member of UNDEAD, of the marine bio club, can’t easily deal with how things have changed, for us?”

Rei is silent before he tilts his head up, questioning, “Kaoru-kun, do you love me?”

“Well, yeah,” Kaoru answers instantly, “Of course I do.”

“Then that’s all there is to it, isn’t there.”

And that really is all there is to it, Kaoru thinks, because he should’ve known, shouldn’t have doubted that Rei would be well aware of the doubts, the hesitation, and yet have chosen to stay.

 

* * *

 

“But it’s _sunny_ outside,” Rei bemoans, pathetically rubbing his cheek against Kaoru’s shoulder as Kaoru attempts to lace up his left shoe. When Kaoru continues to ignore him, Rei gives a sound akin to a whimper before trying to plead with him, “Kaoru-kun— why can’t you spare me...I treat you well don’t I...Did I forget to do the dishes again— I’m sorry — I promise I’ll rememb—”

Kaoru finishes tying up his boots before effectively cutting Rei off by turning his head to press a quick kiss to Rei’s lips, “Stop complaining, you’re the one who thought we should go out and do normal things sometime. Besides, it might be sunny but it’s freezing out, considering it’s winter.”

Rei makes a half-hearted attempt at glowering at his boyfriend, “I meant at night, you know, when it’s dark outside?”

“So we’ll just stay out until it’s dark. And it gets dark early now!” Kaoru responds cheerfully, leaving no room for argument.

———

They don’t do much, but that doesn’t really bother either of them. They walk around the main strip of the shopping center, shoulder to shoulder, gloved fingers laced together between them, idly chattering as they browse. 

Occasionally something catches Rei’s eye, and Kaoru stops to watch him every time. Watches, enraptured by the way Rei leans forward, eyes slitting the slightest bit in focus, the way his slender fingers reach up to push his hair back behind his ear absently. A few times, Kaoru’s pulled from his thoughts when Rei holds this-or-that up, questioning if so-and-so would like it, seeming to seriously contemplate Kaoru’s input, either placing it back on its shelf or ducking to the counter to purchase it, returning to grasp at Kaoru’s hand once more.

After wasting away their afternoon shopping, they eat dinner (“Why seafood, we have seafood all the time.” “Sakuma-san, we’re by the beach.”) before settling comfortably into the little beachside coffee shop. They stay there, contentedly pressed together into a little booth, watching as people, mostly older couples, occupy the small dance floor, moving to the smooth sound of the jazz quartet tucked in the corner of the shop.

The atmosphere of the shop is peaceful, yet lively in a soothing way that lulls Kaoru into a sense of drowsiness. Next to him, Rei fiddles with the charms dangling from Kaoru’s phone, idly sorting through a variety of miniature sea animal charms, Kaoru seeming to obtain a new one every time he met up with Kanata.

It isn’t until Rei finds the small metal bat charm, tangled with the soft tentacles of a plush jellyfish, that he suddenly pulls at Kaoru’s hand, halfway out of the booth. Kaoru blinks blearily at Rei, “Ah— Sakuma-san hold on a second— What’s gotten into you?”

This time, it’s Rei who doesn’t answer, at least until Kaoru’s begrudgingly crawled out from behind the table and let Rei drag him towards the dance floor. “You remember how to dance swing, right? I very distinctly recall making UNDEAD learn it back in the day.”

Kaoru nods, hesitantly, eyes flitting over the older folk, moving easily to the music, “More or less, not that I have any guarantee of how good I’ll be now, considering I only learned enough to appease you in high school…”

Rei’s eyes glint in the dim lighting, just shy of mischievous as he pulls Kaoru completely onto the raised floor to dance, and Kaoru laughs a little when Rei leads, demanding in ways Kaoru is familiar with. They settle into a natural rhythm easily, Kaoru’s own movements a little hesitant, a little unsure, but he simply follows Rei’s light touches. For someone so amazingly lazy outside of music, Kaoru thinks, it’s endearing how Rei comes to life when it comes to jazz dance, an aspect of his art that he rarely gets to incorporate into their band music.

They don’t realize they’ve attracted the attention of the patrons around them until Kaoru’s bent backwards at a highly unnatural angle in a graceful dip, their focus on each other broken by sudden bursts of applause, a few cheers, and Rei pulls them both back up, laughing as Kaoru flushes in embarrassment, but relents to another dance anyways.

 

* * *

 

Kaoru likes to cook. A surprise. A shock. Or enough so that the first time Rei had walked in on Kaoru cooking dinner, the vampire had dropped his folder and sheet music had gone flying everywhere.

Most nights they manage together, they spend in quiet conversation over dinner, before settling together at Rei’s piano, discussing music, or on the couch, not-watching movies as they simply take in the comfort of each other’s presence. 

And then there are nights where Kaoru uses cooking as a way to not think, the day having worked him to the bone, and he’s so tired he’d rather just fall asleep on the floor.

It’s a late night for the both of them, and Kaoru’s tiredly pushing food around the pan, wondering idly why he can’t crack eggs nicely, a completely useless train of thought when he hears the door click open, Rei’s tired ‘tadaima’ sounds from the entryway and Kaoru tosses back the customary response without bothering to turn away from his misshapen egg sizzling in the pan. 

He doesn’t hear Rei slip into the kitchen, doesn’t react even when arms slip around his middle. He’s used to Rei’s clinging, but what he’s still not used to, doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to, is the way Rei presses kisses down the slope of his neck, stopping at the juncture before his shoulder, biting lightly before hooking his chin over Kaoru’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” Rei apologizes, not sounding the least bit sorry. “Your hair was tied up...it looked good. Exposing your neck like that isn’t safe with a vampire around, you should know that, Kaoru-kun,” he murmurs.

Kaoru pretends to swat at Rei’s face, settling for tangling his hand into thick hair, and he barely has the presence of mind to flick the stove off before he’s pushed up against the counter, Rei’s mouth pressed against his. He smiles into the kiss, willingly spreading his legs to accommodate Rei’s thigh between them.

When they pull away, Kaoru can’t help but ask, stupidly, breathlessly, “Don’t you want dinner first?” and Rei looks at Kaoru like he’s not sure whether to laugh or if Kaoru’s actually gone crazy.

Rei seems to settle for the ‘Kaoru has worked himself to insanity’ option, leaning forward again to kiss him briefly on the mouth, working his way to the underside of Kaoru’s jaw, thumbing open the buttons of Kaoru’s shirt, slipping his hand across warm skin when Kaoru makes no attempt to stop him.

Kaoru lets his head fall back, dangerously close to bashing the back of his head against the cabinets, but he has hardly a care for that, not when Rei is sucking a mark just under the line of Kaoru’s jaw, a hand sliding across his chest, down his side.

It isn’t until Kaoru releases a breathy noise that Rei bothers to look up, taking in what Kaoru knows is the flushed mess of his appearance, and something in Rei’s gaze softens. Before Kaoru can ask what’s wrong, Rei’s kissing him again, properly but gently, the intensity of the moment evaporating gradually until they’re more pressed forehead to forehead than actually making out.

 

* * *

 

Kaoru considers himself lucky, in the overall scheme of things regarding Yumenosaki and the war. He didn’t end up like most of the oddballs or the old Knights’ king, driven to insanity, incoherency. He wasn’t directly harmed, like some of the others he knew from their year, cornered, overcome.

Yet sometimes he dreams. No, not dreams, for they render him frozen in fear, waking up in a cold sweat from what he can only consider a nightmare.

Often he remembers that he was _there_ , amongst the battle, and even if he escaped unscathed, he’s painfully aware more often than not that Rei did not. And now, now that he can’t imagine a life without the vampire, he dreams these horrid dreams. Dreams of the time right after the war, when Rei had fallen, been broken, been reduced to nothing.

But Rei had fought. He’d left to recover himself, and when he’d returned he was better, but Kaoru knows that Rei won’t ever be completely be whole again.

It pains him, mostly, to know he can only sit in silence and watch when Rei falls into a state of silence at his piano, hands resting on the keys but playing not a single note, eyes staring unseeing at a messy score.

“Kaoru-kun helps too,” Rei says absently one day, his hand tangled in Kaoru’s hair while Kaoru scrolls through social media on his phone, causing Kaoru to spare a glance up at Rei, questioning. “With my...moods,” Rei clarifies, not really sure how to classify an occurrence he’s never quite aware of when it happens.

Kaoru stays silent for a moment, turning his head back to his phone without bothering to read the content before his eyes, “How so.” 

“Just by being here, I suppose, just like you always have been,” Rei hums at Kaoru, “Kaoru-kun has changed, but he’s unchanging at the same time, and it’s reassuring.”

Kaoru has to swallow past something in his throat before he can reply, suddenly overwhelmed with the ever-recurring realization that Rei can read him so well, can understand his self-centered heart and still love him, “Well, it’s a good thing that Sakuma-san is the same as ever too.”

 

* * *

 

He likes modelling. It’s a good job, with a flexible schedule and great pay.

Or that’s what Kaoru has to tell himself as a makeup artist applies what is most definitely black lipstick to his mouth and another touches up what he’s already seen to be (an admittedly gorgeous blend of) reds and dark monochrome eyeshadow. 

UNDEAD always tended towards the more modern, sometimes even edgier parts of their whole ‘dark’ look, but now that he thinks about it, Kaoru’s surprised Rei never made them pull a stunt like this, of gothic lolita. 

He gets through the shoot of stiff poses and heavy makeup, and promptly pretends the shoot never happened, far preferring the idea of going home to shower and eat dinner before curling into bed with Rei and complain about how Rei likes to stick his cold feet against Kaoru’s calves.

———

“What the fuck is this,” Rei’s voice cuts into Kaoru’s ear suddenly, almost...angry? No, not angry, shocked?

“What’s what?” Kaoru shoots back as he finishes up the dishes in the sink, drying his hands before he strolls back into the living room to find Rei sitting against an armrest of the couch, looking incredibly offended.

Rei shakes the magazine spread at Kaoru frantically, and Kaoru has to step close enough to snatch it out of Rei’s hand before he realizes what he’s looking at. “Oh, this? It was a shoot I picked up awhile back, I think I remember getting an email about the final pictures…” He trails off thoughtfully until Rei makes another offended noise, pulling Kaoru down into his lap and burying his face into the back of Kaoru’s shirt.

“Unfair, Kaoru-kun....you can’t just expect my frail old heart to be ok after a shock like that…”

“Surprise?” Kaoru offers, twisting in Rei’s grasp and tossing the magazine onto the other side of the couch.

Rei gnaws at Kaoru’s collarbone in retaliation, enough to make the blond wriggle in his grasp but not hard enough to break skin, “Unfair,” he repeats, “Kaoru-kun looks so good...why didn’t I ever make UNDEAD wear stuff like that,” Rei bemoans.

Kaoru makes a face at Rei, pulling the vampire away from him by the hair, “Sakuma-san is disgusting,” he retorts. “Besides, the clothes were really hard to move in, and you made us actually dance.”

“Such is the idol life,” Rei answers loftily as if his head isn’t being bent back at the neck, “I’m sure we could’ve managed, but I suppose leather is a good enough substitute.” 

“You didn’t even wear leather pants with your uniform!”

“Exactly.”

 

* * *

 

Outside of work, they have their fun. For someone who spent much of his free time in high school at the beach, basking in the light of the sun to the sound of crashing waves, Kaoru has become rather fond of bars and clubs.

“Take another, with me,” Rei pleads prettily, and Kaoru tries to find it in him to protest; that no thank you, he’s had enough, he’s plenty drunk, but to have Rei’s long fingers gracefully holding the glass out to him, he can’t say no. He downs it in one smooth motion, registering somewhere in his mind that it hadn’t burned going down as much as it should have before Rei is swimming in his vision, blurring as Rei leans in to kiss the streak of alcohol slipping from Kaoru’s mouth. But before Kaoru can properly register exactly what’s happening, Rei’s pulling away, giving him an impish grin, reminiscent of Ritsu, before he’s gone, slipped into the crowd of pretty women and equally beautiful men, moving together to the club’s thrumming music.

So Kaoru follows. He doesn’t join Rei directly, taking his sweet time to enjoy the pretty faces flitting before his eyes. He’s vaguely aware of hands dragging down his chest, down his back, a leg slipped between his own, but no words ring in his head, not even his own, as he lets the music flow over him. 

There’s a pleasure in this, in simply enjoying music, in living and breathing music that isn’t his or his competitors, that he doesn’t have to pick apart until it loses all meaning. To let himself simply feel the music without having to understand it, and perhaps it’s a way out for him, a temporary escape entirely different from that of performing.

It sinks into Kaoru’s mind that he may be more than a little drunk as he lets a tall brunette pull Kaoru flush against him, the man’s features blurring with red eyes, and Kaoru reaches up to tangle his fingers in hazy black hair before he’s pulled away, spun around dizzyingly so. And it takes him a moment to focus his eyes, his head dropping back against Rei’s shoulder, smiling dazedly up at him. 

They move naturally together, in a way so reminiscent to how they function in daily life that Kaoru thinks there might be something a little fucked up about that train of thought. He’s easily distracted though, and Kaoru throws his head back in breathless laughter as he feels Rei smile against the skin of his neck, slick with sweat, their hips grinding effortlessly against each other to the heavy beat of the music.

———

Mornings are one of Kaoru’s favorite times of day.

Weekend mornings, when neither of them have anything scheduled, and Kaoru can wake up freely. When the sun filters through the crack in their heavy shades, casting warmth across his face, causing him to stir slowly, lazily stretching until he’s ready to open his eyes and actually wake.

Rei makes noises of protest when Kaoru starts shifting, greedily latching onto him in an unconscious attempt to stay near the warmth.

When they have the time, Kaoru thinks he’s equally selfish, not bothering to shake Rei awake, only curling one hand against the skin of Rei’s waist, just under the edge of his shirt. He likes it sometimes, being the one to watch over Rei like this, when for the past few years of their lives, it’s always been the reverse. 

Kaoru let’s his eyes wander, drinking in the view before him, from the way Rei’s lashes fan across the pale skin of his cheek, the way his lips part just slightly as he breathes. He’s weak to beauty, Kaoru thinks, but in the end, Rei, his friend, his leader, his lover, is more than that.

“Light...s’bright,” Rei mumbles, eyes slitted before closing again, and the vampire wriggles closer to Kaoru, burying his face into the blond’s neck.

Kaoru can only laugh, feeling Rei smiling into the crook of his neck and shoulder.

 

_end._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> uh Merry (early) Christmas to a certain bun?? 
> 
> was kind of hesitant to post, since I'm rather unsure of their characterization and this just...didn't come out quite right LOL sorry [bun]
> 
> and of course, thanks to my usual beta for proofing me even though they're not as into enstars


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